Listening to Ecstasy with Charles Wininger, LP, LHMC
The Most Important Thing
Check out Listening to Ecstasy to learn more about this powerful substance and the positive impact it had on Charley’s life.
About Charles Wininger
Charles Wininger, LP, LMHC is a licensed psychoanalyst and mental health counselor specializing in relationships and communication skills. Recognized as the “Love Doctor” by the New York Times and Newsday, he’s been treating couples and individuals in his Manhattan and Brooklyn offices for 30 years. He sits o the board of advisors of the Psychedelic Education and Continuing Care Program at the Center for Optimal Living in New York. He lives with his wife, Shelley, in Brooklyn.
About Listening to Ecstasy
Listening to Ecstasy serves as both Charley’s memoir and a guide to the safe and effective use of MDMA. In this book, Charley details the countless ways that Ecstasy has helped him become a better therapist and husband. He recounts his coming of age in the 1960s counterculture, his 50 years of responsible experimentation with mind-altering substances, and his immersion in the new psychedelic renaissance. He explains how he and his wife found Ecstasy to be the key to renewing and enriching their lives as they entered their senior years.
Countering the fearful propaganda that surrounds this drug, Winninger describes what the experience actually feels like and explores the value of Ecstasy and similar substances for potentially helping psychologically healthy individuals live a more fulfilling life. He provides guidelines for the responsible use of MDMA, including how to optimize the “roll” and hot it may not be for everyone. He reveals how MDMA has enhanced his marriage, both erotically and emotionally, and describes how pleasure, fun, and joy can lead to profound bonding and transformative experiences.
Episode Overview:
In this episode, Charley and I discuss the role of Ecstasy in his life and marriage. We identify the benefits and risks, as well as the negative propaganda against Ecstasy / MDMA. Charley shares his experience coming of age in the 60s, his use of psychedelic substances, and his becoming a therapist. We discuss love, politics, and the crises humanity currently encounters. Finally, we hone on the power of men’s work and compassion in building a healthy life and relationships. While the book is about his experience with Ecstasy, we talk about so much more.
My Favorite Quotes:
“I was tripping balls before you were even a twinkle in your father’s eye”
“The best way to do MDMA, especially the first time, is at home when you have control over your immediate surroundings… start out in the safest place you know, which is usually the home.”
“The Burner culture owes a lot to the original counter-culture of the 60s whether they know it or not, and I believe that they do.”
“The Summer of Love was one of the most magical times of my life; the other most magical time of my life is NOW”
“The 60s taught me that Utopia is possible - as funny as it might sound.”
“The best way to live is not as an I, but part of a WE. As part of something, bigger than yourself – that’s the most meaningful way to live.”
“It’s up to us, to fix all of the horrible problems that we face. To bring it back to MDMA, I believe these medicines can help to inform us and teach us. This is why I call the book Listening to Ecstasy.”
“My generation really blew it – we made the world a little better, but not as much as we should have or could have”
“Capitalism is an enormously powerful force with its own momentum and all the systems in place have their own momentum.”
“The only true method of change is non-violent and massive – in order to delegitimize mainstream culture”
“The way we feel on MDMA points to the way that we need to live – with an open heart and an open mind – seeing all the people on the planet as no different than us. That’s true revolution and it comes from these medicines and spiritual practice.”
“I’m not happy unless she is – that’s one definition of love”
“I can get so wrapped up in my own thoughts, and my own psychodrama, like so many of us can, but Shelley was there with a simple truth as if to say ‘here I am’”
“She’s 69 years old and she looks like she’s still 19 to me.”
“Heart break can open one up to a world of grief which can open one up to the WORLD… and the suffering in the world and deepen one’s compassion for the suffering of the world and deepen one’s empathy for the people who are suffering in the world.”
“MDMA helps with that. We’ve had so many experiences together which are cumulative in their benefit like that. 70 peak experiences that we have memories of that have accumulated in our souls, our spirits, and our bodies.”
“MDMA is really like relationship super glue for couples. It can, if you allow it to bring you back to a more innocent and fresh place – to help you rediscover the lost heart of your relationship.”
“Couples need to use ‘I’ language and not ‘you’ language”
“Resentments are inevitable but it’s important to get them out right away. We don’t let the sun go down on an argument. We hit snags, everyone hit snags – it’s how you deal with them that matters.”
“The medicine can help, but it can only help so much.”
“MDMA is not a sexual drug, it’s a sensual drug – it opens that body and heart, mind, and soul follow.”
“How to integrate these experiences into your life – how do you turn these ‘states’ into ‘traits’?”
"They say that in nature, alongside the poison, grows the antedote."
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Why a 71 year old is the spokesperson for MDMA
08:30 – MDMA, Molly, the Roll, and Ecstasy – the basics
14:00 – Recreational use and joy for transformation
20:00 – What Charley learned from the 1960s counter culture
25:00 – How can we avoid the results of the progressive movements of the 60s
30:00 – The Love Doctor defines Love for me
33:00 – Charley describes his love for and relationship with his wife Shelley
38:00 – MDMA in Charley and Shelley’s relationship
42:00 – Resentment and love
49:00 – The importance of men’s work
58:00 – MDMA with friends
1:01 – Charley’s Rules of MDMA use: Set, Setting, Integration
Episode Links:
Charley’s Info
https://www.charleywininger.com/
https://www.charleywininger.com/listening-to-ecstasy
Other Resources & References
Marc’s Info:
Marc Weinstein, host of the Look Up! Podcast is a public speaker for corporations, universities, and conferences. Click here to view past talks and to book Marc
